Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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