...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think I just sharted jello shots
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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