Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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