i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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