Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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