And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
