On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
