i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
