If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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