he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
