just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
