i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
