Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
