It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
