CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
