i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Blood and glitter go together right?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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