The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it was like having sex with a tree stump
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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