my room smells like sperm. sweet.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
