yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
