it was like eating out sand paper
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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