Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
