I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Let's get the cat blown out
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
the raccoons are back...
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