Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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