it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
