I have demons in me.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
