I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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