My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
