Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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