Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
