I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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