i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
