Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
