Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize