This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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