I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
