We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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