my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
