Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
