winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
