There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
