So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
