yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
