If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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