My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i dont even know how to be here
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
