And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
