Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
