My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
