I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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