i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
