is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
