Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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