If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
