i would punch a child for taco bell
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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