So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
ok first of all what the fuck
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
