I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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